Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Robbo's rant on Woeful England

1. Gerrard OR Lampard. That's OR! Not AND! Not one of you in the middle and the other out of position; not paper, scissors, stone before you decide which one of you is allowed to bomb forward. They do the same job. One has to go on the bench.
2. Carrick. Not up to it. Yes, messrs Hansen, Wright and Shearer, he is a lovely passer - as long as it's sideways or back to the keeper. He's weak in possession - he must have lost a lot of candy as a baby. And someone cuts his fringe with a ruler. Enough already.
3. Phil Neville. Ermmm... why? Barry would've been better at left-back - actually Carrick would've been. I know he's versatile but so are potato waffles.
4. Wright-Phillips. Wrong Phillips. Couldn't trap a dead cat right now. He's been used as a duvet for the Chelsea subs bench for long enough. Sell him so he can shed a few togs and believe in himself again.
5. Crouch. Not a starter, even when Rooney's out. The ref was ridiculous with him all night mind. He seemed to think that you could give away a foul simply by being too tall. But he's best as a nuisance to come off the bench. Rooney needs a direct replacement for Owen and, right now, that means Defoe or Johnson (or - and it can't be any worse - Nugent).
6. Tempo. Why do we try and knock it about like we're on the bleeding Copacabana beach? Until people in this country start training our young lads to look after a football (and I don't just mean keep it away from windows and thorn-bushes) then all we can rely on is that the opposition don't like it up em. The Spanish were right flaky for 10 minutes and then we slowed down. NO! GET STUCK IN!

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