Friday, July 06, 2007

Life.


Life is like a highway, sometimes everything appears bright and green and sometimes dark and gloomy (Note the use of 'appear' which may not be reality).
Yesterday, I had to drive a few things out of my mind, so took the flying Dutchman (my car) and headed out for a drive.
People and places change sometimes for the good and sometimes the result may not be what we wanted but one thing I have learned so far is, God does not give you all you want...He gives you all that you need.
I think and decide on the Outer ring road for several reasons. Green Day start "I walk a lonely road..." on the stereo...
Yes, I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known. Everybody needs time...alone, to think in retrospect. As I drive down, I glance at known places, places where I have been many times before.
'My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating'
All the cars and trucks zoom by, life seems to be a big blur. Sometimes certain changes hit you hard, so hard that it takes time to even gather the pieces and get up. But another lesson learnt in life is...Time is a great healer. Everything takes time - Patience is really a virtue.

Time slowly crawls as I continue on lane 3 almost oblivious to the traffic. Cranberries on the stereo with 'Animal Instinct'. The song brings back memories, and I bite my lip, not that I want to but I had to, to prevent a drop from trickling down my cheek. I hold on. An ambulance wails on the other side of the road. I glance at it for a few seconds. May God have mercy on the poor soul. It's almost midnight and I turn around to head home - have a meeting at work tomorrow morning. I stay on the intersection waiting for a clear lane to turn. Trucks, Cars and SUV's speed past. The headlights hit me hard on the face illuminating it for a fleeting second. I turn into the last lane, and slowly rest my foot on the accelerator. I come back to the familiar places. This time around I stop and glance, but for a few minutes and a wry smile escapes. The drop trickles down. I move the Dutchman into first and the speedometer slowly moves...0...10...20...

Life is on a highway...we move from 0 to 20, 30 and perhaps 40, and either brake hard or swerve around when something comes in the way. I had braked hard and in the process stalled my engine, there had been no room to swerve. The reality of the situation broke free - This is reality. My mind said accept it, my heart said no. An intriguing debate continues between them, each bringing forth its own valuable point. Thoughts and memories keep flooding and walk back and forth at the back of my mind. Some good and some even better. I realize this is life and this is how things change - not for the first time - but things could have been different. Things could have been better.

I am almost home.

Have a long day tomorrow. My Manager is not gonna be in for some time - that completes the case by taking it from bad to worse!
God have mercy on me.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very well written post. You have described what you are going through vividly.

I think everyone of us goes through these periods in life where everything appears hazy and you do not know where you are heading. We are not able to accept the present and continue to live with the memories of the distant past.

However, like you said, time is the perfect healer and I am sure it'd set things right for you even if it takes a bit longer.

Until then, grit your teeth a bit and remember you are not alone :)

5:20 PM  

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