...and now for something completely different.

"If the Ferrari president is right about the Singapore Grand Prix being a circus, then we have to be grateful to him for providing the clowns."
Bernie Ecclestone after the Ferrari pit crew allowed Felipe Massa to exit the pit box with the fuel hose still attached

"Dirk Kuyt is earning himself the reputation as Anfield's Prince Harry - in the frontline for three months and no-one knows anything about it."
Sun journalist Phil Thomas on Liverpool's non-flying Dutchman

"*!@!!*$!@!!"
Joe Kinnear reacquainted himself with Her Majesty's press, rattling off a world-record 52 swear words in five minutes.

"We will put in a report. I don't talk to referees. It's like complaining to your mother-in-law about your wife - it doesn't get you too far."
Mum was the word for Ulster coach Matt Williams after the Heineken Cup defeat by Harlequins

"I've been laughing - I said 'Dad, how do you crash a car at 30mph?'"
Lewis Hamilton after Dad Anthony stuck a borrowed Porsche in a hedge.

"It was unfortunate."
Hamilton not laughing four days later at the Canadian Grand Prix after crashing his car at about 30mph into the back of Kimi Raikkonen.

"Over the years whilst fielding at first slip, Dravid almost seems to have developed an ability to stick Kumble's balls to his hands."
ABC cricket commentator during Australia-India series.

"I've never been one for stats and milestones, I just try to do the best for my team. I'm the third fastest person in the history of the game to get 10,000."
Ricky Ponting showed remarkable knowledge for someone who was not one for stats and milestones.

"I should have punched him harder."
Eric Cantona revealed the main regret about the infamous kung-fu incident at Crystal Palace.

"The one thing Cristiano Ronaldo has is pace, quick feet and a great eye for goal."
Chris Waddle on Irish radio station Newstalk.

"Ghana are finding it difficult to impregnate the Cameroon defence."
Eurosport commentator during the Ghana-Cameroon Africa Cup of Nations semi-final. Think he meant penetrate.

Journalist: "You lost to Tsonga three times. Why?"
Novak Djokovic: "Because he was playing better."

...and now for something comepletely different.

"He [Souness] has just gone behind my back in front of my face."
- Craig Bellamy

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7."
- David Beckham

"We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion!"
- Becks again,

"When people are talking about you, it means that you exist"
- Eric Cantona

"Soccer is a game for 22 people that run around, play the ball, and one referee who makes a slew of mistakes, and in the end Germany always wins."
- Gary Linekar

"We're at the top of a cliff and we can either fall off the edge or keep climbing"
- Gary Neville

"I've always been a childhood Liverpool fan, even when I was a kid."
- Harry Kewell

""What Zidane can do with a football, Maradona could do with an orange." "
- Michel Platini